Perhaps Under Control

The only way for me to maintain sanity during a period of whirlwind activity is to slowdown (not shutdown), and, perhaps, in my mind, to try to retreat from the potential chaos of the situation – to take the happenings one element at a time, each at its own pace. The idea is to try to calm the mind by simply addressing only what is in front of me at that moment. There is a time for planning, and there is a time for making sure I do not lose my sanity.

It all started with an early morning arrival, well before the hours of the dawn. The yellow and black taxi puttered its way towards the house on the dark and empty street. A voice, surprisingly cheerful after about 24 hours of travel, announced her arrival. Hello brother! A sincere hug loosened up the tension from the night of waiting, a night of disturbed sleep.

I had been scheduled for a last-minute trip to Bangalore the next day – to take care of matters for the girls. The process of booking the tickets had provided its own challenges, with the airline now not accepting my credit card because it was not issued by a domestic bank. Fortunately, I could come up with a work-around by booking through an international agency, a process that created its own additional element of uncertainty and tension.

Then it was the trip itself: very lightly packed – expecting to only stay two nights; first the craziness of the taxi ride – including the fact that the driver took a route I was not familiar with; the tension of airport procedures – security and boarding. I was glad to be finally seated in the aircraft. At the other end of the flight, the taxi ride takes longer than expected. The usual route to my destination was apparently waterlogged due to heavy rainfall. Finally arrived at Brigade Altamont, my home away from home, a place where I could relax – a returning guest who was in danger overstaying his welcome visiting too frequently. But disturbing news awaited. There was a chance that my trip could have been in vain. There were still open issues being worked on that could derail the purpose of my trip. Would I be willing to extend my stay? Yikes!

A flurry of activity the next morning to try to ensure that events could go ahead that day as originally hoped for – each step of the process that morning involving hard decision making and all kinds of coordination between the parties involved. Finally, after some uncertainty, the trip to the sub-registrar’s office for signing the papers – and the process continues over there. Documents are scrutinized, hurdles overcome on the fly, and finally signatures applied. The documents are complete and the agreement is done. Mission accomplished! I can go back home declaring success.

A visit to the Karnataka Golf Association follows – drinks and dinner to relax the mind – perhaps a little too much of the drinks, but thankfully not enough to prevent me from managing the moment. Back to my home away from home, the drinks amplifying and intensifying my experience of the drive – absorbing the vibes of the street and its chaos. Automobiles and two-wheelers moving in all directions competing for every inch of space, hundreds of close calls involving folks who have to always be on high alert – all senses of all involved in the madness and mayhem on high alert – on the lookout for opportunities to get ahead and manage the situations which, to me, seem to be fraught with danger. Folks making their way across the crowded streets on foot in the middle of the vehicular chaos, dodging the traffic, sometimes putting their arms out in the direction of a vehicle moving their direction to try to call attention to themselves, trying to slow down the already slow moving vehicles further. The streets are really alive at this time of the evening and my brain seems to be absorbing everything that is happening in its fullness. You can feel the heartbeat and vibrancy of the big city. Life in our suburbs in the western world is completely boring and sanitized by comparison.

Arrived at Brigade Altamont after the ride to get the very sad news of a good friend’s passing. In somewhat of a shock now – a fitful night’s sleep later that night, mourning the loss of a warm, kind, and loving soul – my friend Ramnath. He always had a smile on this face. He managed his MS with good cheer, grace, and dignity for over 30 years. His heart finally gave up. A time for some tears…

Calmness in the morning and a hearty breakfast to get me on my way home. I am finally in the car on my way back to the airport – following the process of the day before yesterday, the day of my arrival this time in Bangalore, in the reverse direction – taking things one step at a time once again. There is very little traffic on the road at this time of the morning. Everything goes smoothly. There are no surprises.

Finally, I am back home. I can retreat to my usual frame of mind.